A manager can cultivate either fear and self-protection or confidence and curiosity. The difference is engagement. The key to effective leadership is distinguishing between behaviors that build confidence and those that create fear and suspicion. Most leaders we work with do things with good intentions. However, it is easy to fall prey to false beliefs that cause us to act in ways that undermine our intent. These false beliefs can lead us to justify unproductive behaviors and prevent us from expanding our influence.
What follows are six of the most common false beliefs we see among positional leaders. Which of these false beliefs, if any, are undermining your leadership influence?
Leaders are always confident and don’t show weakness.
This false belief is based on a misunderstanding of the source of leadership influence. It assumes that the strength of a leader is dependent on modeling perfection. The problem is team members see the leader’s weaknesses already, and a leader who pretends they don’t have weaknesses while pointing out everyone else’s weakness will be seen as hypocritical.
The true belief is leadership influence begins with modeling humility. When a leader extends trust by making themselves vulnerable, they grow trust. By modeling being a work in progress themselves, they make it safe for every team member to do the same. This creates the right conditions for coaching, and the leader’s influence grows.
The best leader is the one with all the answers.
This false belief is based on a misunderstanding of the purpose of leadership. It equates expertise with leadership and can cause a leader to think thoughts like, “If it’s going to be done right, I have to do it myself.” It can also cause a leader to make all the decisions, thus relieving team members of responsibility. This creates dependence on the leader for decision making and fosters an attitude of helplessness on the team. This false belief is reinforced in many organizations when people are promoted to leadership roles based on expertise rather than promoting based on the qualities of an effective leader.
The true belief is that the most effective leaders are the ones who bring out the best in their team members by asking open ended questions to engage team members in problem solving. When a leader leads by asking questions, they are extending trust to team members. In the process, they are engaging their critical thinking and inviting team members to take ownership.
You need the right carrot and stick to motivate people.
This false belief is based on the fundamental misunderstanding of motivation. It assumes all motivation is external and reduces relationships to a set of transactions or threats of punishment. It can cause leaders to overuse the Coercive style. It can also cause a leader to become over reliant on financial inducements or other rewards to motivate performance. Perhaps worst of all, it can cause a leader to see people as objects to be manipulated and to withhold praise or the showing of care and concern for fear people will become complacent.
The true belief is that all motivation is self-motivation, and self-motivation rises or falls based on how basic human needs are met. All humans have a need to contribute their time and talents to something bigger. They have a need to be valued, to be respected, and to be seen and heard. When these basic needs are met, people’s hearts are engaged, and they find their own motivation.
People need to be controlled.
This false belief underestimates peoples’ ability to problem solve. It can cause a leader to think, “If I don’t tell them what to do and how to do it, they won’t do it right.” It often comes from good intent and a desire to help others get it right the first time. However, it frequently causes a leader to overuse the Directive leadership style and may be perceived as micromanaging. In the process people don’t feel trusted and don’t feel challenged. They also miss out on the opportunity to engage and strengthen critical thinking skills.
The true belief is that people can solve many of their own problems, and when given the freedom to do so, are often self-motivated to do so. When a leader is clear on expected outcomes but gives latitude to find the best way to do a job, team members will most often rise to the challenge and may even find a better way to do the job than the leader may have anticipated.
A mistake makes a person less trustworthy.
This false belief is based on a misunderstanding of what it means to be trustworthy. It assumes that the measure of trust is success or failure and the degree to which a person meets expectations. It can cause a leader to respond to failure or missed commitments with shaming or threat of punishment. It leads to pessimistic thoughts such as, “I can either trust this person, or I can’t.” Leaders who operate based on this false belief will be quick to discount a team member’s future potential. Conversely, they will be reluctant to see failure as an important part of the process to achieving that potential.
The true belief is the real measure of trust is how a person responds when they make a mistake or miss a commitment. All human beings engaged in healthy risk taking are going to occasionally fail. The true test of trust then is the degree to which a person owns and learns from their failures. A person who doesn’t make excuses or blame, is open to coaching, and learns from mistakes, is inherently trustworthy.
Winning is proof of good leadership.
This false belief assumes that the sole measure of success for a leader is the final score. It can cause leaders to overemphasize short term results and makes it easy to rationalize negative leadership behaviors that may be effective in the short term but ultimately damage trust and weaken the team over the long run.
The true belief is the ultimate measure of leadership is the strength and engagement of the team. Effective leaders care about winning, but they are equally concerned with how they win. They create the conditions for high trust, which is crucial for achieving extraordinary results that are sustainable over time.
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